on the death of pastor Andrew Stoecklein and of too many others like him

Four days ago, the pastor of Inland Hills Church of Chino, CA, Andrew Stoecklein, committed suicide. From what I’ve heard, about 400 pastors do this every year. That’s 400 too many.

I don’t think it happens because God doesn’t care/can’t help people with anxiety or depression. That would be an erroneous statement that flies in the face of not only the Bible, but of thousands of testimonies, including mine.

I think it happens, number one, because we have a real enemy that wants to destroy us! He wants us to believe his lies and to be held back by strongholds of fear, sadness, addiction and other bad things, and he goes about looking for opportunities to devour people!

The other reason I think it happens is because of the pedestal pastors can accidentally find themselves on. Pastors have so many expectations on them: they have to preach the word of God at all times, have their behavior in line at all times, be ready to provide a caring voice and hand for their flock at all times...it’s a stressful profession! And I think it is all too easy for pastors to fall into the trap that they must be perfect people and they must be able to carry all the people's burdens by themselves. And because they feel like they can’t express their struggles to anyone (or else they’ll lead the flock astray, oh no!) they struggle in isolation. And isolation is an ACTUAL tool of the devil. It amplifies your internal problems by a lot.

What can we do as normal churchgoing people? I think the main thing we can do is continually pray for our pastors. When I was struggling with anxiety and depression myself (mainly in college), what got me back from the brink was the constant prayer and support of my parents. They were not just feelings that came and went; they were spiritual strongholds sent by the devil to take me out. Spiritual strongholds require spiritual weapons, so prayer is the ideal weapon against these things. If you happen to know that your pastor is in a direct struggle with these things, pray that those strongholds would break in Jesus’ name. If you don’t think they’re struggling, pray that they will be able to continually cast their cares upon God and that the joy of the Lord would be their strength.

Another thing we can do is let our pastors be people once in a while. Many times pastors write of not having a vacation in 10 or more years because they’re always on duty. Even doctors don’t suffer that much! I am a big advocate of pastors getting annual vacations or sabbaticals or what not. We all need time to rest and recharge and to simply listen to what God is saying to us. Other than that, we should allow our pastors to be vulnerable with us when needed. The pastor isn’t just there to serve us; he or she is our supervisor, and we are all workers in the body of Christ. Therefore as church people we should be willing to (collectively) bear our pastors’ burdens as well. Again, prayer is key!

One thing that churches can do that lessens the burden on pastors is to have more than one good preacher or leader. My home church, Christian Life Center, and my current church, Hillsong LA, both have multiple main speakers, and this is very key! At CLC, when my pastors take their annual vacation to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee, the church isn’t left scrambling because we have other trained pastors and leaders who can take over for the week. These leaders can then help the pastor bear his or her burdens and make the work lighter.

All this is to say that as a church we all need to be on guard against depression and anxiety in our pastors and leaders. When you get the chance, do pray for pastor Stoecklein’s family and his church, and also for the other churches that have undoubtedly gone through the same thing this year.

The United States National Suicide Prevention Hotline can help in times of crisis if you call 1(800)-273-8255.

How To Survive First Year of Med School

Second year of med school starts in three days...SIGH.

In trying to mentally prepare myself to start this year, I am amassing tips for incoming first years or gung-ho premeds.

1. You are going to be surrounded by people who are just as driven and as smart as you are. DO NOT FALL into the comparison trap. Other people have their race to run and you have your race to run. Don't judge yourself on the accomplishments of others.

2. Going with the last note, do be ambitious, but please don't be a gunner. Don't ask people what score they got on the test or try and take advantage of people to make yourself look good. People will not like you!

3. Find a study method (or a couple) that works for you and stick to it. If you're like me, this may change from block to block or from week to week, depending on the material and on whether you like to switch it up (like me). This is okay as long as you KEEP STUDYING throughout the block.

4. You can cram in med school...but it's a lot harder than in college. It's a megaton of information, so you have to give yourself a certain amount of time to learn all of it before the test. The best way to do it is to study at least a couple of hours each day after class. Then when you are reviewing before the test, you'll have seen the information before, and it'll be easier to remember.

5. I always felt better studying the information I learned on the day. If I wasn't able to get through all the material for August 7, for example, instead of spending August 8 trying to catch up, I'd just leave the rest of the August 7 material until the weekend and skip over to August 8 material. This way, I was able to keep up with the material pretty well and not fall behind too much. Falling behind is very discouraging, so I try to avoid that as much as I can.

6. You may fall behind. You may violate your perfect study schedule sometimes. You may even unintentionally take a day off because you're tired. That's okay. You're not perfect, and you don't have to be perfect in order to be successful in medical school. If you make a mistake or two or seven, don't dwell on the fact that you messed up. The righteous person falls seven times and gets back up eight times. If you fall, get up and try again.

7. If you budget your time well, you WILL have time on weekends to have fun! People think that med school is the end of all fun...it isn't. You will study a lot, but there will be some free time! (When studying for Step 1 or on rotations where you work on weekends, there will be less free time. But you'll be okay.)

8. For me, talking to patients was a LOT scarier than studying was! A lot of the confidence for that comes with practice. If your school gives you chances to practice, TAKE THEM. You may feel uncomfortable or like you're being annoying, but your grades third and fourth year as well as your future patients will thank you.

9. Don't be afraid to ask for help. No one expects you to know everything yet; you are a medical student, and a first-year one at that. You've barely been inducted into the profession, and everyone expects you to need help at some point. Also, it reflects badly on the med school if the students do badly, so most schools should have plenty of help resources. Take advantage of them. Get a tutor if needed.

10. Try and get on an exercise regimen and to eat healthy. Most people go into med school after their teenage years, and our bodies start reacting to bad treatment as time goes on. At least in my experience, if I go too long without exercising, my thighs start aching and I get super lethargic, which is not something I can afford with med school's fast pace. I've heard of similar experiences with my classmates. You don't have to look like a model; just find a way to be active for thirty minutes or so more than once a week. It's similar with eating; clean eating makes me feel really good and gives me energy.

11. Going along with number 7, find time for at least one hobby that you liked before medical school and keep doing it. For me the thing I did most consistently was learn languages, a hobby I've had since I was ten years old. It engages another part of my brain and makes me happy.

12. Medicine consists of a lot more than learning copious amounts of biology. It also consists of forming positive relationships with patients (yay social skills) and learning how to do research (at least in my medical school) among other things. Don't skimp on these parts of the job just because learning the science is harder! The science is what gives you good grades now, but the other things (especially the doctor-patient relationship thing) will make you a better doctor later.

There is plenty more advice to give, but I don't know it yet, so you get this. Congratulations on medical school, and hope this helps.