...because it always seems like everyone has such a great social life. Like everyone has found their niche and has a bunch of best friends who they love and the best friends love them back. And I feel sad because I know that I'm kind of insecure about friends right now, and it appears that everyone is getting so close and having a really good time except for me.
But then I looked at my Facebook and I realized that it doesn't say everything about me. I mean, in all of my photos I'm smiling, and it appears that I've found one organization and stuck to it for friends and all that stuff (I haven't, I'm in a couple different ones). And then it clicked--I'm a college freshman. How many college freshmen don't have their entire lives panned out on Facebook? How many college students are kind of insecure about friends right now, just like me? I've found increasingly that it is better to be with people in person than to Facebook message them. I think Facebook has kind of an impersonal feel.
It's strange. Facebook has kind of become a place where you sort of follow people's lives--or whatever they choose to put up--rather than actually connecting with them. I'm not calling for people to post their entire lives on Facebook or for Facebook to die. I think it's kind of dangerous to put up so many life details on the Internet, and Facebook is useful for some things. But I guess I've learned that Facebook stalking in excess is not healthy, especially when you're feeling insecure--in that place you don't see people's insecurities, but you see yours, and it makes you feel inferior when you're really not.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm probably going to have to go on Facebook less. The problem is that I get bored of working...and also, I actually do use the site to connect with some of the groups I'm in and to post inspirational stuff. The problem is that I have mostly been posting my inspirational stuff on Tumblr, not Facebook, for the past however many months. And it's annoying because I have only 20 Tumblr followers, but I have...a lot of Facebook friends. Much bigger mission field/audience on Facebook, right!?
And here comes my blogging story:
I like writing. I used to write a lot of fiction when I was younger, and a year-ish ago I thought I should start blogging. I went to Tumblr thinking it was a blogging site and I found that it's a bit different than that, but I went on it anyway, and I changed my URL and after that I got a couple of followers. But honestly, Tumblr has not been that useful to me. I follow a lot of inspirational Tumblrs but I don't know...it's as if I don't actually read things, and sometimes I end up reblogging cool photos or really good points, but I've not been actually blogging, which is what I actually want to do. And as I said, it's been stealing inspiration from my Facebook. I used to put a bunch of inspirational stuff on Facebook, and it stopped when I got some followers on Tumblr. There are a lot of Tumblrs of the same kind as mine that are doing the job better than mine is, and I have a much bigger mission field/audience on Facebook. Also, I have this actual blog now.
So this is what I'm feeling: I should delete my Tumblr, and continue to update my Facebook with inspirational stuff, and blog here.
But that doesn't necessarily justify my constant going on Facebook and stalking photos/the news feed. I think I'm going to try something. I am going to try to go on Facebook every two days, instead of every day. Sometimes when I don't go on it I think I'm missing a lot, but I know I'm really not.
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