And a lot of things have happened during my time here--a lot of things to learn from. I've changed...and yet at the same time I haven't. Some things about me have definitely changed; I've matured a bit, definitely. I've had some rough experiences and come out to tell the tale to people. But at the same time, I feel like the same old person I was when I was 15 and a half. It's very weird to think that I was a sophomore in high school five years ago. When I was a sophomore, it was easy to note the differences between 11-year-old me and 16-year-old me. I grew a couple of inches, I gained a figure, and I gained confidence and (some) maturity. But now, as I'm nearing the age of 21, I feel essentially the same as a person as I was when I was 16, but with less confidence (ha!). And I've been berating myself for a while now about that. Isn't college where I'm supposed to change, find new ideals and become a much more sophisticated person? Isn't it where I'm supposed to find my identity in some type of "-ist" and let the liberal in me come alive from the conservative prison I was raised in? Isn't that what's supposed to happen to me? A lot of people have had that experience in college, and for a long time I wondered why I didn't fit into that category. People would share their experiences of this and that and others would applaud them and I would wonder if I was wrong for not having any of those experiences to share. I wondered if I was wrong, or even deficient in something (yikes) because none of the new contemporary labels really fit me.
And then it hit me, slowly and then all at once (pop culture hehe): if I am a unique person, created by God with my own personality and experiences and other things, then why am I trying to let the world define me?
I realized that the world in all of its forms can try and put me in a couple of boxes, but none of them will completely fit me. I'm a sum of several parts. I have my own DNA, my own personality, and my own destiny. Some people really identified with the things we've heard and seen in college, and they made several changes, and that's awesome. I'm happy for them. But just because I haven't changed that much or made myself fit in the mold this new society has for me, doesn't mean I'm any less than any of them.
So here I am! I have a lot of new experiences and ideas to share. But to be honest, I'm basically the same as when I was 16. And I'm pretty okay with that.
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Friday, April 19, 2013
Stuff that I have learned from the events this week
This week. THIS WEEK! I did not come to Cambridge expecting this week. I came into the week expecting to be stressed out by all the work I had to do...but not by the threat of terrorists. There were definitely moments where I was like, "God, YEESH! I could barely deal with my own little student problems. What is THIS?"
But I guess no one comes into this experience as a prepared person. It just happens and it scars you and your town for life. It doesn't make your town cease to exist, as I found out today. Even as there were people the next town over chasing the suspect, and Massachusetts law had put us all on lockdown for the first time in nearly 12 years, after a while, people did start going outside again. It was eerie for me to go out into the Yard and watch people play and eat at Au Bon Pain. This place is supposed to be deserted, I thought, but it isn't! There was playtime and laughter, but there was still this awkward fear looming over everything like a cloud. It was always possible to get over it by doing work or by distracting oneself from it, but a trigger would come and you'd be scared again.*
How incredibly relieving it is to have that blanket of fear lifted off of you.
Many people at my school made the great point this week that many people aren't getting the happiness and relief that I have now. They still have to live in that blanket of fear. For people in the war zones like in Syria, what we have just been freed from experiencing is life. My solution? Prayer. Keep praying for those warzones, applying the feelings that you felt this week to those prayers.
*That is, unless you were my friend Terrance. Thursday night when the MIT shooting occurred, I was in Lamont Library with a group of friends and this dude. We were all scared out of our minds and hunkered down to the basement...all except Terrance. Dude put some gospel music in his ears and kept on studying right next to the windows of Lamont Library. We all asked him why he wasn't fearing. He kept on saying, "God is with me. I don't have anything to fear!"
I knew that, but the difference between me and Terrance was that the guy had been meditating on it, so once a situation came around he just had his Psalm 91 handy, and he just chilled. I ought to get to that level of faith!
But I guess no one comes into this experience as a prepared person. It just happens and it scars you and your town for life. It doesn't make your town cease to exist, as I found out today. Even as there were people the next town over chasing the suspect, and Massachusetts law had put us all on lockdown for the first time in nearly 12 years, after a while, people did start going outside again. It was eerie for me to go out into the Yard and watch people play and eat at Au Bon Pain. This place is supposed to be deserted, I thought, but it isn't! There was playtime and laughter, but there was still this awkward fear looming over everything like a cloud. It was always possible to get over it by doing work or by distracting oneself from it, but a trigger would come and you'd be scared again.*
How incredibly relieving it is to have that blanket of fear lifted off of you.
Many people at my school made the great point this week that many people aren't getting the happiness and relief that I have now. They still have to live in that blanket of fear. For people in the war zones like in Syria, what we have just been freed from experiencing is life. My solution? Prayer. Keep praying for those warzones, applying the feelings that you felt this week to those prayers.
*That is, unless you were my friend Terrance. Thursday night when the MIT shooting occurred, I was in Lamont Library with a group of friends and this dude. We were all scared out of our minds and hunkered down to the basement...all except Terrance. Dude put some gospel music in his ears and kept on studying right next to the windows of Lamont Library. We all asked him why he wasn't fearing. He kept on saying, "God is with me. I don't have anything to fear!"
I knew that, but the difference between me and Terrance was that the guy had been meditating on it, so once a situation came around he just had his Psalm 91 handy, and he just chilled. I ought to get to that level of faith!
Friday, February 8, 2013
That snow day!
I grew up in a place where it is supposed to snow regularly between January and March, and sometimes even in April. I grew up making snowmen and snow angels in elementary school, and always hearing about snowball fights, even if I hadn't been in that many.
Last winter, while it was quite nice, was unexpected for me. There were warm days, cold days, and NOT ENOUGH SNOW. Winter to me is snow--so much snow that I get sick of it. Last winter, I could count not only the amount of times it had snowed, but also the amount of inches of snow we'd gotten, on my fingers. It was disgraceful.
This winter, it seemed like it was going to be more of the same...and then Nemo came along.
Nemo, of course, couldn't have been good for everyone, but for me, it was very good. It started with my classes getting cancelled for the day, and having the due date for a problem set pushed back. That alone made me quite content.
Then, I went out for some meetings that I still had, and I saw what I'd been missing for some time--the whole yard, roads and all, in a blanket of white. I slugged my feet through the snow and tried to avert my eyes from it as the wind blew the snow directly at my eyes, but even then, the six-year-old in me leaped around, and I was happy as a lark. Finally, some snow!
I went to my meetings, hung out with some people, and then went back to my dorm and worked for a while, assuming that we were to hunker down for the night much like we did when Hurricane Sandy came along. I resolved to do my work, but as I looked on Facebook and saw pictures of my friends playing in the snow already, my heart pined. Then, someone invited me to an event--a snowball fight at midnight. There was my goal--work until that snowball fight.
When the time came, I put on my rain boots, coat, gloves and hat and went outside. I was a bit early, and only a handful of people were in the yard playing football and stuff, so a couple of friends and I went over to the steps of our colossal library, which should be a government building instead of a library. This library happens to have a ton of steps, which combined with a good foot of snow, makes for great sledding. We came when most of the snow had been scraped off the stairs, so my first sledding experience was a very bumpy ride, and I fell off the tray I was using. After a bit of sledding, I headed to the yard, and the snowball fight had begun! People were running about having snowball battles with each other. Others ran past me chasing their friends, and there was even one guy with a crutch who joined the party. I saw quite a few friends...and threw snow at almost all of them.
At one point, a lot of people decided to assault a fort that had been made. Everyone advanced towards the fort, including a guy with a yellow flag, and charged at the people in the fort with snowballs. Unfortunately, that fort got reduced to smithereens.
I eventually went back to the library, where people were still sledding, despite the fact that some of the stairs were iced over. I marveled at the fact that the snow was still falling. It was as if the weather wanted to make up for all of those missed days in January. I accept its apology.
I eventually went in feeling extremely happy that everyone had come out for a snowball fight. It was definitely one of the best nights I've had in college so far. My college is pretty intense, and the stereotype goes that the college is full of prudes who spend all their time studying and overachieving. But this night reminded me why I was attracted to this college--Harvard--in the first place; because the people here are not prudes. We study and overachieve, yes, but it isn't beyond us to loosen up and be kids for a night.
I don't normally do recaps of events here, but I felt this deserved one. This is one of those "thank God it happened" days for me. Aaaah, so fabulous.
My friend Peter recorded part of it, so here's the link to his video; the charge is at 0:50!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDOeaicu7F8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Last winter, while it was quite nice, was unexpected for me. There were warm days, cold days, and NOT ENOUGH SNOW. Winter to me is snow--so much snow that I get sick of it. Last winter, I could count not only the amount of times it had snowed, but also the amount of inches of snow we'd gotten, on my fingers. It was disgraceful.
This winter, it seemed like it was going to be more of the same...and then Nemo came along.
Nemo, of course, couldn't have been good for everyone, but for me, it was very good. It started with my classes getting cancelled for the day, and having the due date for a problem set pushed back. That alone made me quite content.
Then, I went out for some meetings that I still had, and I saw what I'd been missing for some time--the whole yard, roads and all, in a blanket of white. I slugged my feet through the snow and tried to avert my eyes from it as the wind blew the snow directly at my eyes, but even then, the six-year-old in me leaped around, and I was happy as a lark. Finally, some snow!
I went to my meetings, hung out with some people, and then went back to my dorm and worked for a while, assuming that we were to hunker down for the night much like we did when Hurricane Sandy came along. I resolved to do my work, but as I looked on Facebook and saw pictures of my friends playing in the snow already, my heart pined. Then, someone invited me to an event--a snowball fight at midnight. There was my goal--work until that snowball fight.
When the time came, I put on my rain boots, coat, gloves and hat and went outside. I was a bit early, and only a handful of people were in the yard playing football and stuff, so a couple of friends and I went over to the steps of our colossal library, which should be a government building instead of a library. This library happens to have a ton of steps, which combined with a good foot of snow, makes for great sledding. We came when most of the snow had been scraped off the stairs, so my first sledding experience was a very bumpy ride, and I fell off the tray I was using. After a bit of sledding, I headed to the yard, and the snowball fight had begun! People were running about having snowball battles with each other. Others ran past me chasing their friends, and there was even one guy with a crutch who joined the party. I saw quite a few friends...and threw snow at almost all of them.
At one point, a lot of people decided to assault a fort that had been made. Everyone advanced towards the fort, including a guy with a yellow flag, and charged at the people in the fort with snowballs. Unfortunately, that fort got reduced to smithereens.
I eventually went back to the library, where people were still sledding, despite the fact that some of the stairs were iced over. I marveled at the fact that the snow was still falling. It was as if the weather wanted to make up for all of those missed days in January. I accept its apology.
I eventually went in feeling extremely happy that everyone had come out for a snowball fight. It was definitely one of the best nights I've had in college so far. My college is pretty intense, and the stereotype goes that the college is full of prudes who spend all their time studying and overachieving. But this night reminded me why I was attracted to this college--Harvard--in the first place; because the people here are not prudes. We study and overachieve, yes, but it isn't beyond us to loosen up and be kids for a night.
I don't normally do recaps of events here, but I felt this deserved one. This is one of those "thank God it happened" days for me. Aaaah, so fabulous.
My friend Peter recorded part of it, so here's the link to his video; the charge is at 0:50!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDOeaicu7F8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Friday, December 14, 2012
Top memories here so far...
Well, there goes a semester of college. That was a bit too fast for me. A lot of it is a blur, but I think I've got to do this, not in the least because of what I experienced tonight.
Let's go. A couple memories from the semester, in no particular order.
1. Walking past the Widener Library the first few weeks and feeling totally tiny every time I did.
2. Ending up in the third floor of said library after misinterpreting directions from my friend who I wanted to study with, and feeling totally scared until I realized she was on the second floor in a reading room.
3. Talking with one of my TA's on a bus. It just felt weird talking to one of...well, my teachers like that! Then again, it's different here in that my TA is probably part of my sister's generation, which makes her at the most 10 years older than me.
4. Having a professor casually ask me about my day and getting butterflies in my stomach.
5. Sitting next to three people from Georgia (the country), Burundi and Canada in the dining hall and feeling way too normal.
(If you noticed, a lot of things make me feel humble here.)
6. Eating a bunch of peanut butter oreos courtesy of my friend.
7. Studying in the even more intimidating law school library with my roommate and two of her friends.
8. Singing the VeggieTales theme song with one of my friends in the dining hall.
9. Literally spending the night sleeping in the not intimidating Lamont Library, waking up at 8 and realizing that all-nighters are probably not my thing.
10. Eating apple pie and hanging out with friends from a Christian fellowship.
11. When a band from YWAM came and we had a worship night, and I all of a sudden got a giant reminder of who I am! :)
12. Getting with a group of at least 15 students in a basement and praying for the Newtown tragedy, and really sensing the Holy Spirit. (This one happened today!)
13. The first intramural day when we all wore navy (cobalt?) blue shirts and played games, showed our Matthews pride, and did pretty well!
14. Eating a giant bowl of pho with a friend for the first time. That stuff is GOOD!
15. Dinner trains with the band.
This college experience has made me feel humble, small, anxious, happy, and very normal all at different times. And the biggest thing I've learned is that there is really no point being anxious.
Now to go through these 4 final days. Then, I'll be home for a month. Wow. Just wow.
Let's go. A couple memories from the semester, in no particular order.
1. Walking past the Widener Library the first few weeks and feeling totally tiny every time I did.
2. Ending up in the third floor of said library after misinterpreting directions from my friend who I wanted to study with, and feeling totally scared until I realized she was on the second floor in a reading room.
3. Talking with one of my TA's on a bus. It just felt weird talking to one of...well, my teachers like that! Then again, it's different here in that my TA is probably part of my sister's generation, which makes her at the most 10 years older than me.
4. Having a professor casually ask me about my day and getting butterflies in my stomach.
5. Sitting next to three people from Georgia (the country), Burundi and Canada in the dining hall and feeling way too normal.
(If you noticed, a lot of things make me feel humble here.)
6. Eating a bunch of peanut butter oreos courtesy of my friend.
7. Studying in the even more intimidating law school library with my roommate and two of her friends.
8. Singing the VeggieTales theme song with one of my friends in the dining hall.
9. Literally spending the night sleeping in the not intimidating Lamont Library, waking up at 8 and realizing that all-nighters are probably not my thing.
10. Eating apple pie and hanging out with friends from a Christian fellowship.
11. When a band from YWAM came and we had a worship night, and I all of a sudden got a giant reminder of who I am! :)
12. Getting with a group of at least 15 students in a basement and praying for the Newtown tragedy, and really sensing the Holy Spirit. (This one happened today!)
13. The first intramural day when we all wore navy (cobalt?) blue shirts and played games, showed our Matthews pride, and did pretty well!
14. Eating a giant bowl of pho with a friend for the first time. That stuff is GOOD!
15. Dinner trains with the band.
This college experience has made me feel humble, small, anxious, happy, and very normal all at different times. And the biggest thing I've learned is that there is really no point being anxious.
Now to go through these 4 final days. Then, I'll be home for a month. Wow. Just wow.
Monday, November 12, 2012
How to be a good tourist
Let this be a testimony to how random I actually am. I could be thinking of science, or the football game I'm going to on Saturday, or the library I'm in...but no. After browsing a couple of photos, I've decided to write a blogpost on how to be (or at least look like) a good tourist. Anyway...
So whenever I've gone to foreign countries as a non-child, I have made a conscious attempt to not look like a tourist. That's what we should do, right? When in Rome, do as the Romans do. But sometimes I have seen these "how not to look like a tourist" things go a tiny bit too far.
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Looking-Like-an-American-Tourist
It appears that in order to not look like an American, you can't pull your socks up too high, or wear athletic shoes, or wear certain accessories or colors since the locals aren't wearing them. What is this, a case of high school hierarchy?
Granted, some countries do require certain forms of dress, and I am not advocating breaking the law, or bashing other countries' ways of dress because they aren't our own. But I am advocating being our own selves for goodness' sake.
The thing is, even if you try as hard as you can to not dress up like a tourist, if you're going to another country to sightsee or go on a tour, you are a tourist! And if you're like me, you've probably been careful to try not to dress like a tourist not just because of stealing issues, but because you don't want to impose your American-ness on other people. Not wanting to impose on people is all well and good, but I don't think it's good to try sooooo hard to separate yourself from your own nationality, especially if you're only staying in the country for a week or something like that.
Granted, I do think that WikiHow article is good in some respects. So here are my own comments and advice.
How to straight up give yourself away as a tourist:
1. Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, white socks and gym shoes, with a fanny pack and a baseball cap.
2. (at least in France) Tank top that says "I <3 (something)", booty shorts, and flip flops.
3. Fanny packs in general.
4. Crocs.
5. Being really loud.
6. Insulting the local culture. (Golden Rule people!)
7. Being really loud in English in a country where English isn't normally spoken.
8. Not accepting the table manners and stuff like that.
9. Having a giant map out. This often can't be helped, though it can be avoided if you have a smartphone with a map.
10. Having a camera around your neck.
Stuff you should do if you are a tourist:
1. (if not in an English speaking country) Learn some of the local language.
2. Hit up some books or Internet resources about the culture/history/politics of the country you're going to. Again, I'm not advocating looking down on other countries and cultures--far from it! I'm just warning against trying too hard to fit in. In relation to that...
3. Try to dress like the locals, but again, don't try too hard!
4. Before you go to a foreign country, try and look up some cultural norms--for example, things about personal space, or chewing gum in public, or eating on the street, or (especially in Asia) cutlery norms and table manners.
5. Keep your money and valuables in a place where not everyone can see it and/or take it easily. I'd advise in the pockets or bags.
6. Use local currency. (Isn't this a given? Someone please enlighten me.)
7. Don't be mean to people who give you dirty looks and stuff.
8. Have fun and embrace the local culture!
Random post over!
So whenever I've gone to foreign countries as a non-child, I have made a conscious attempt to not look like a tourist. That's what we should do, right? When in Rome, do as the Romans do. But sometimes I have seen these "how not to look like a tourist" things go a tiny bit too far.
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Looking-Like-an-American-Tourist
It appears that in order to not look like an American, you can't pull your socks up too high, or wear athletic shoes, or wear certain accessories or colors since the locals aren't wearing them. What is this, a case of high school hierarchy?
Granted, some countries do require certain forms of dress, and I am not advocating breaking the law, or bashing other countries' ways of dress because they aren't our own. But I am advocating being our own selves for goodness' sake.
The thing is, even if you try as hard as you can to not dress up like a tourist, if you're going to another country to sightsee or go on a tour, you are a tourist! And if you're like me, you've probably been careful to try not to dress like a tourist not just because of stealing issues, but because you don't want to impose your American-ness on other people. Not wanting to impose on people is all well and good, but I don't think it's good to try sooooo hard to separate yourself from your own nationality, especially if you're only staying in the country for a week or something like that.
Granted, I do think that WikiHow article is good in some respects. So here are my own comments and advice.
How to straight up give yourself away as a tourist:
1. Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, white socks and gym shoes, with a fanny pack and a baseball cap.
2. (at least in France) Tank top that says "I <3 (something)", booty shorts, and flip flops.
3. Fanny packs in general.
4. Crocs.
5. Being really loud.
6. Insulting the local culture. (Golden Rule people!)
7. Being really loud in English in a country where English isn't normally spoken.
8. Not accepting the table manners and stuff like that.
9. Having a giant map out. This often can't be helped, though it can be avoided if you have a smartphone with a map.
10. Having a camera around your neck.
Stuff you should do if you are a tourist:
1. (if not in an English speaking country) Learn some of the local language.
2. Hit up some books or Internet resources about the culture/history/politics of the country you're going to. Again, I'm not advocating looking down on other countries and cultures--far from it! I'm just warning against trying too hard to fit in. In relation to that...
3. Try to dress like the locals, but again, don't try too hard!
4. Before you go to a foreign country, try and look up some cultural norms--for example, things about personal space, or chewing gum in public, or eating on the street, or (especially in Asia) cutlery norms and table manners.
5. Keep your money and valuables in a place where not everyone can see it and/or take it easily. I'd advise in the pockets or bags.
6. Use local currency. (Isn't this a given? Someone please enlighten me.)
7. Don't be mean to people who give you dirty looks and stuff.
8. Have fun and embrace the local culture!
Random post over!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
I'M ALIVE!
It just dawned on me that it's November, and I'm going home for Thanksgiving in only twenty days. I've survived nearly three months of college!
I definitely remember being at home during a particularly lazy summer and wondering several times if I would end up imploding in college. Well, I haven't been doing everything perfectly, but I can think of a lot of ways that it could be much worse. So praise the Lord. I'm happy.
I guess I'll share a couple things I've learned:
1. You are probably not going to have everything in college life settled in the first two to three months. Patience is a virtue, and you're going to have to be happy while not necessarily knowing what's going to come next or who's going to end up being your best friend or any of that.
2. A lot of people have a lot of opinions and while it's not good to shun other people because of their opinions, it's also not a good idea to try and take everyone's opinion and make it your own. Sometimes it is really good to just respectfully disagree and go on your own merry way.
3. Don't take everything so seriously. Make sure that you make time in your schedule for something that just straight-up makes you happy.
4. (I kind of learned this in high school, but this was consolidated in college.) Most of the really good classes are going to inundate you with work. A lot of the classes with really engaging professors will also be coupled with lots of work.
5. You are probably going to walk by some pretty weird things. I was walking back from the library with my roommate during the night and we were witnesses to a group of people on really weird bikes--I saw a penny-farthing bike, and a neon bike and other weird things. They were playing pump up music. And it was pretty long past midnight. Which brings me to another thing...
6. Especially if you end up in a college like mine, don't be surprised if you find yourself walking back from a library in the wee hours of the morning more than once. Which brings me to another thing...
7. Pitch-blackness is okay. Rain is okay. But when you combine them it's actually kind of depressing.
8. Buy vitamins and put them in your dorm. They're expensive but they help when colds are spreading.
9. Just because you've started to live by yourself and have some adult responsibilities now, doesn't mean that you're an adult just yet. This is a good thing--be happy while you're young! Don't let the workload or anything else get you down--these are the last years of semi-childhood that you have. Be happy!
10. You are probably going to miss your parents at some point (unless they were really horrible to you while you were at home). That's why a lot of people stay close!
I might add more advice tidbits, but more likely I'll have to go through more college in order to find those. For now I hope this helps someone...
I definitely remember being at home during a particularly lazy summer and wondering several times if I would end up imploding in college. Well, I haven't been doing everything perfectly, but I can think of a lot of ways that it could be much worse. So praise the Lord. I'm happy.
I guess I'll share a couple things I've learned:
1. You are probably not going to have everything in college life settled in the first two to three months. Patience is a virtue, and you're going to have to be happy while not necessarily knowing what's going to come next or who's going to end up being your best friend or any of that.
2. A lot of people have a lot of opinions and while it's not good to shun other people because of their opinions, it's also not a good idea to try and take everyone's opinion and make it your own. Sometimes it is really good to just respectfully disagree and go on your own merry way.
3. Don't take everything so seriously. Make sure that you make time in your schedule for something that just straight-up makes you happy.
4. (I kind of learned this in high school, but this was consolidated in college.) Most of the really good classes are going to inundate you with work. A lot of the classes with really engaging professors will also be coupled with lots of work.
5. You are probably going to walk by some pretty weird things. I was walking back from the library with my roommate during the night and we were witnesses to a group of people on really weird bikes--I saw a penny-farthing bike, and a neon bike and other weird things. They were playing pump up music. And it was pretty long past midnight. Which brings me to another thing...
6. Especially if you end up in a college like mine, don't be surprised if you find yourself walking back from a library in the wee hours of the morning more than once. Which brings me to another thing...
7. Pitch-blackness is okay. Rain is okay. But when you combine them it's actually kind of depressing.
8. Buy vitamins and put them in your dorm. They're expensive but they help when colds are spreading.
9. Just because you've started to live by yourself and have some adult responsibilities now, doesn't mean that you're an adult just yet. This is a good thing--be happy while you're young! Don't let the workload or anything else get you down--these are the last years of semi-childhood that you have. Be happy!
10. You are probably going to miss your parents at some point (unless they were really horrible to you while you were at home). That's why a lot of people stay close!
I might add more advice tidbits, but more likely I'll have to go through more college in order to find those. For now I hope this helps someone...
Sunday, October 14, 2012
I kinda sorta miss the 90s.
Granted I was in kindergarten when the 2000's came rolling around--but most 90s trends continued into the early 2000s. I remember N'Sync, the Backstreet Boys, and Britney Spears. I remember Airheads, Gushers, Fruit Roll-ups and the commercials for them all. I remember Lisa Frank and overalls. But what I most remember, the thing about the 90's that truly has a stake in my childhood, is the cartoons.
Man, those cartoons. My brother and I were those kids who woke up early every Saturday morning to catch some. From SpongeBob, Rugrats, the Fairly OddParents and Rocket Power on Nickelodeon to Looney Tunes, The Powerpuff Girls, and Dexter's Laboratory on Cartoon Network to Even Stevens and Lizzie McGuire on Disney Channel...I can go on. So many good cartoons! My mom kept on having to limit our TV time because we watched them too much.
Of course, this was our childhood, and it's natural to miss the childhood days. But something happened to our childhood stations too. Disney Channel led the way--little by little it phased out all the cartoons in favor of real-time shows, and Nickelodeon eventually started following this trend too. Not to mention, all the shows got less funny. I still find my childhood cartoons much funnier than anything on Disney Channel right now, and it's safe to say I'm not a kid anymore.
But something else has happened that sort of worries me a little bit. These shows made for kids are all set in high school, and the characters have crushes and go to high school parties and do other high school stuff. Granted, nothing actually ridiculous has happened yet, but I don't know...I don't think kids should be thinking about dating when they barely know what a good load of schoolwork is yet. When I was a kid, I thought about riding a bike and drawing and playing laser tag, not going to the cool kids' parties. Maybe I'm just too nostalgic, but I feel that kids are being taught that doing grown-up stuff and acting like grown-ups is cool, when it's better for them to be kids. A kid's life is less complex than an adult's for a reason. Can the TV shows please just let kids be kids?
Man, those cartoons. My brother and I were those kids who woke up early every Saturday morning to catch some. From SpongeBob, Rugrats, the Fairly OddParents and Rocket Power on Nickelodeon to Looney Tunes, The Powerpuff Girls, and Dexter's Laboratory on Cartoon Network to Even Stevens and Lizzie McGuire on Disney Channel...I can go on. So many good cartoons! My mom kept on having to limit our TV time because we watched them too much.
Of course, this was our childhood, and it's natural to miss the childhood days. But something happened to our childhood stations too. Disney Channel led the way--little by little it phased out all the cartoons in favor of real-time shows, and Nickelodeon eventually started following this trend too. Not to mention, all the shows got less funny. I still find my childhood cartoons much funnier than anything on Disney Channel right now, and it's safe to say I'm not a kid anymore.
But something else has happened that sort of worries me a little bit. These shows made for kids are all set in high school, and the characters have crushes and go to high school parties and do other high school stuff. Granted, nothing actually ridiculous has happened yet, but I don't know...I don't think kids should be thinking about dating when they barely know what a good load of schoolwork is yet. When I was a kid, I thought about riding a bike and drawing and playing laser tag, not going to the cool kids' parties. Maybe I'm just too nostalgic, but I feel that kids are being taught that doing grown-up stuff and acting like grown-ups is cool, when it's better for them to be kids. A kid's life is less complex than an adult's for a reason. Can the TV shows please just let kids be kids?
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I get sad from going on Facebook a lot...
...because it always seems like everyone has such a great social life. Like everyone has found their niche and has a bunch of best friends who they love and the best friends love them back. And I feel sad because I know that I'm kind of insecure about friends right now, and it appears that everyone is getting so close and having a really good time except for me.
But then I looked at my Facebook and I realized that it doesn't say everything about me. I mean, in all of my photos I'm smiling, and it appears that I've found one organization and stuck to it for friends and all that stuff (I haven't, I'm in a couple different ones). And then it clicked--I'm a college freshman. How many college freshmen don't have their entire lives panned out on Facebook? How many college students are kind of insecure about friends right now, just like me? I've found increasingly that it is better to be with people in person than to Facebook message them. I think Facebook has kind of an impersonal feel.
It's strange. Facebook has kind of become a place where you sort of follow people's lives--or whatever they choose to put up--rather than actually connecting with them. I'm not calling for people to post their entire lives on Facebook or for Facebook to die. I think it's kind of dangerous to put up so many life details on the Internet, and Facebook is useful for some things. But I guess I've learned that Facebook stalking in excess is not healthy, especially when you're feeling insecure--in that place you don't see people's insecurities, but you see yours, and it makes you feel inferior when you're really not.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm probably going to have to go on Facebook less. The problem is that I get bored of working...and also, I actually do use the site to connect with some of the groups I'm in and to post inspirational stuff. The problem is that I have mostly been posting my inspirational stuff on Tumblr, not Facebook, for the past however many months. And it's annoying because I have only 20 Tumblr followers, but I have...a lot of Facebook friends. Much bigger mission field/audience on Facebook, right!?
And here comes my blogging story:
I like writing. I used to write a lot of fiction when I was younger, and a year-ish ago I thought I should start blogging. I went to Tumblr thinking it was a blogging site and I found that it's a bit different than that, but I went on it anyway, and I changed my URL and after that I got a couple of followers. But honestly, Tumblr has not been that useful to me. I follow a lot of inspirational Tumblrs but I don't know...it's as if I don't actually read things, and sometimes I end up reblogging cool photos or really good points, but I've not been actually blogging, which is what I actually want to do. And as I said, it's been stealing inspiration from my Facebook. I used to put a bunch of inspirational stuff on Facebook, and it stopped when I got some followers on Tumblr. There are a lot of Tumblrs of the same kind as mine that are doing the job better than mine is, and I have a much bigger mission field/audience on Facebook. Also, I have this actual blog now.
So this is what I'm feeling: I should delete my Tumblr, and continue to update my Facebook with inspirational stuff, and blog here.
But that doesn't necessarily justify my constant going on Facebook and stalking photos/the news feed. I think I'm going to try something. I am going to try to go on Facebook every two days, instead of every day. Sometimes when I don't go on it I think I'm missing a lot, but I know I'm really not.
But then I looked at my Facebook and I realized that it doesn't say everything about me. I mean, in all of my photos I'm smiling, and it appears that I've found one organization and stuck to it for friends and all that stuff (I haven't, I'm in a couple different ones). And then it clicked--I'm a college freshman. How many college freshmen don't have their entire lives panned out on Facebook? How many college students are kind of insecure about friends right now, just like me? I've found increasingly that it is better to be with people in person than to Facebook message them. I think Facebook has kind of an impersonal feel.
It's strange. Facebook has kind of become a place where you sort of follow people's lives--or whatever they choose to put up--rather than actually connecting with them. I'm not calling for people to post their entire lives on Facebook or for Facebook to die. I think it's kind of dangerous to put up so many life details on the Internet, and Facebook is useful for some things. But I guess I've learned that Facebook stalking in excess is not healthy, especially when you're feeling insecure--in that place you don't see people's insecurities, but you see yours, and it makes you feel inferior when you're really not.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm probably going to have to go on Facebook less. The problem is that I get bored of working...and also, I actually do use the site to connect with some of the groups I'm in and to post inspirational stuff. The problem is that I have mostly been posting my inspirational stuff on Tumblr, not Facebook, for the past however many months. And it's annoying because I have only 20 Tumblr followers, but I have...a lot of Facebook friends. Much bigger mission field/audience on Facebook, right!?
And here comes my blogging story:
I like writing. I used to write a lot of fiction when I was younger, and a year-ish ago I thought I should start blogging. I went to Tumblr thinking it was a blogging site and I found that it's a bit different than that, but I went on it anyway, and I changed my URL and after that I got a couple of followers. But honestly, Tumblr has not been that useful to me. I follow a lot of inspirational Tumblrs but I don't know...it's as if I don't actually read things, and sometimes I end up reblogging cool photos or really good points, but I've not been actually blogging, which is what I actually want to do. And as I said, it's been stealing inspiration from my Facebook. I used to put a bunch of inspirational stuff on Facebook, and it stopped when I got some followers on Tumblr. There are a lot of Tumblrs of the same kind as mine that are doing the job better than mine is, and I have a much bigger mission field/audience on Facebook. Also, I have this actual blog now.
So this is what I'm feeling: I should delete my Tumblr, and continue to update my Facebook with inspirational stuff, and blog here.
But that doesn't necessarily justify my constant going on Facebook and stalking photos/the news feed. I think I'm going to try something. I am going to try to go on Facebook every two days, instead of every day. Sometimes when I don't go on it I think I'm missing a lot, but I know I'm really not.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
CRUNCH TIME!
I have really been introduced to college now.
Granted I've been here for a month. I spent the last two weeks getting used to living in my dorm, getting lost trying to get to places, trying to make friends, socializing, and getting used to the college class schedule. I was kind of floating through, thinking somewhat of classes but largely paying attention to my social life and finding out how not to get locked out of my room.
Then, last week, I got my first grades back. Let me just say that they were a nice abrupt introduction to college as an institution of higher LEARNING.
Let the games begin.
I'm actually happy, though, that my first grades were something of a smack in the face. Before that classes were kind of a haze. I knew that I needed to do well--I had only been told that seven million times by parents, siblings and everyone else before going--but I didn't know what I needed to do, and I didn't know necessarily how this was going to happen. Now I feel ready to tackle these classes and make them obey me.
I've gotten into more than one conversation where the other person mentioned staying in the library until 4:00 am or 6:30 am to study. Quite frankly, I can't do that. I'm not very good at staying up past 1:00 am, and I've learned from junior year that getting zero sleep during the week and crashing on the weekends is not the way to go. Med school/grad school/the next few years might prove me wrong on that, but for now I reserve my right to sleep for a reasonable amount of time. I've also found that I'm much better at studying pretty much anywhere that's not my dorm.
I've figured that I should probably spend most of my time out of classes or extracurriculars in the library or a computer lab doing work. If I do that I'll actually be able to sleep at night.
Go classwork!
But, but, but, I also somewhat feel that if I do this rigorous schedule I won't have any time to rest or do some type of quiet time. I'm not exactly used to scheduling that but it's going to have to happen sometime.
Granted I've been here for a month. I spent the last two weeks getting used to living in my dorm, getting lost trying to get to places, trying to make friends, socializing, and getting used to the college class schedule. I was kind of floating through, thinking somewhat of classes but largely paying attention to my social life and finding out how not to get locked out of my room.
Then, last week, I got my first grades back. Let me just say that they were a nice abrupt introduction to college as an institution of higher LEARNING.
Let the games begin.
I'm actually happy, though, that my first grades were something of a smack in the face. Before that classes were kind of a haze. I knew that I needed to do well--I had only been told that seven million times by parents, siblings and everyone else before going--but I didn't know what I needed to do, and I didn't know necessarily how this was going to happen. Now I feel ready to tackle these classes and make them obey me.
I've gotten into more than one conversation where the other person mentioned staying in the library until 4:00 am or 6:30 am to study. Quite frankly, I can't do that. I'm not very good at staying up past 1:00 am, and I've learned from junior year that getting zero sleep during the week and crashing on the weekends is not the way to go. Med school/grad school/the next few years might prove me wrong on that, but for now I reserve my right to sleep for a reasonable amount of time. I've also found that I'm much better at studying pretty much anywhere that's not my dorm.
I've figured that I should probably spend most of my time out of classes or extracurriculars in the library or a computer lab doing work. If I do that I'll actually be able to sleep at night.
Go classwork!
But, but, but, I also somewhat feel that if I do this rigorous schedule I won't have any time to rest or do some type of quiet time. I'm not exactly used to scheduling that but it's going to have to happen sometime.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Self evaluation? Fellowship evaluation? Whatever this ends up being.
I have a fabulous problem.
One of my biggest (if not my biggest) priorities for college was to find a Christian fellowship where I could have some close relationships with Christians on campus. Well, God has blessed my campus, and it turns out there are THREE interdenominational fellowships on campus. Yes, three. And this is a secular college I'm talking about!
This of course gives me the glorious First World problem of trying to choose a main fellowship. The fellowships interact with each other and there are people in multiple fellowships, it's not like they're AT WAR or something stupid of that sort, but my mission here was to find a fellowship that I would spend most of my Christian fellowshipping time at.
When I first came to my campus as a wide-eyed young high schooler on the admitted students' weekend, only two fellowships had meetings for prefreshmen like myself. I will call the two of them Refresh and Revelation here. Revelation sort of scared me off--it seemed like they were involved with theology and lots of discussion, which led me to shy away. Refresh seemed more simple--just a group of normal kids coming to worship God and be with each other--and that's exactly what it was. It reminded me of a youth group I would have gone to at home.
When I came to campus as a student, I pretty much went for Refresh, while also dabbling in another fellowship which I will call Gateway, but I still didn't consider Revelation very much. What really attracted me to Refresh was that, as one of the members told me, "you get really close with the people there". I was really searching for those close relationships with Christians, and I figured I would find them there or maybe in Gateway, but I was much more attracted to Refresh. I found out the time of their freshmen girls' lifegroup, I went there once and I liked it.
But then a conflict arose. One of my classes likes to hold movie screenings (it's a popular culture/art/media class) and as it turned out, they had six mandatory movie screenings all at the very same time as Refresh's freshman girls' lifegroup. This upset me as it sort of cut off my connection with what would be my best time to get really close to other Christians...in Refresh. Insecure about whether I would ever find some close friends in college, I ended up pouring out my problems to my brother, who then called my mom and told her. My mom, in her no-nonsense way, then called me and demanded that I do what I could do at a school with three interdenominational fellowships--find another lifegroup.
My brother's good friend had actually met some of the Revelation people and he contacted a couple of people and gave my brother their numbers in order to help me. I hadn't planned to do anything with the contacts, but my mom now implored me to contact these people and see if I could find a small group that would fit my schedule there. I found Revelation's Facebook group and asked for some small groups and as it turned out, they had two of them at times that I could make.
I went there expecting challenge and that was precisely what I got. I could really sense the powerful presence of God emanating through some of these people in the group--and it scared me, but it also attracted me. I started to think of Proverbs 27:17: "as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend". I started to think that maybe what I needed was some sharpening, some inspiration from the people around me.
I asked around and learned more about Revelation, and today I went to dinner with a couple people from there, and from what I've learned, this fellowship is COOL. It has over 100 people who regularly attend meetings. As a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship I was able to understand how meaningful that is! It has so many chances to get involved and, more importantly, do outreach. One of the people I met told me that many of the people in Revelation have a mindset where they want to bless Revelation and other people, along with growing in Christ themselves. That was the selling point for me. These people were truly out to fulfill the Great Commission! I remember standing in the hall just taking that in as part of the Overture of 1812 played in my head (yes, I am that nerd who likes to make a soundtrack to my life and play it in my head. Please tell me I'm not the only one!).
I was a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship, which was pretty small. I came into college feeling that God was going to stretch me by putting me in a small fellowship, since that was what happened to me my senior year of high school and because my church at home is also very big and COOL. When I was told about Revelation and how many people attended it per week, I was enthralled but I was also a bit afraid. I was afraid that I would be spoiled by the absolute awesomeness of this fellowship, that I wouldn't be able to appreciate the little things if I was to join this fellowship and stay in it for four years. I was afraid that maybe I wouldn't be able to find the close relationships that I desire in a fellowship that's so big. I was afraid of being dwarfed by so many smart, talented people who are on fire for God. But I'm starting to realize that maybe what I need is a chance to be a student, or a non-leader, more like. To be in this community full of people that will enrich me and help me try harder, go deeper, and go farther out into the world.
God is weird, isn't he? Just when you think he's going to do one thing with you he brings in something entirely different. He really does go beyond anything we can ask or think, and honestly, I don't think it's that hard for him.
I'm not done yet (I know this post is ridiculously long). I haven't yet given Gateway a serious chance, so I am going with a retreat with them tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday. I might take a serious turn toward them. For now though, I'm still reeling from how God snuck around me and kicked me in the back (in a good way).
One of my biggest (if not my biggest) priorities for college was to find a Christian fellowship where I could have some close relationships with Christians on campus. Well, God has blessed my campus, and it turns out there are THREE interdenominational fellowships on campus. Yes, three. And this is a secular college I'm talking about!
This of course gives me the glorious First World problem of trying to choose a main fellowship. The fellowships interact with each other and there are people in multiple fellowships, it's not like they're AT WAR or something stupid of that sort, but my mission here was to find a fellowship that I would spend most of my Christian fellowshipping time at.
When I first came to my campus as a wide-eyed young high schooler on the admitted students' weekend, only two fellowships had meetings for prefreshmen like myself. I will call the two of them Refresh and Revelation here. Revelation sort of scared me off--it seemed like they were involved with theology and lots of discussion, which led me to shy away. Refresh seemed more simple--just a group of normal kids coming to worship God and be with each other--and that's exactly what it was. It reminded me of a youth group I would have gone to at home.
When I came to campus as a student, I pretty much went for Refresh, while also dabbling in another fellowship which I will call Gateway, but I still didn't consider Revelation very much. What really attracted me to Refresh was that, as one of the members told me, "you get really close with the people there". I was really searching for those close relationships with Christians, and I figured I would find them there or maybe in Gateway, but I was much more attracted to Refresh. I found out the time of their freshmen girls' lifegroup, I went there once and I liked it.
But then a conflict arose. One of my classes likes to hold movie screenings (it's a popular culture/art/media class) and as it turned out, they had six mandatory movie screenings all at the very same time as Refresh's freshman girls' lifegroup. This upset me as it sort of cut off my connection with what would be my best time to get really close to other Christians...in Refresh. Insecure about whether I would ever find some close friends in college, I ended up pouring out my problems to my brother, who then called my mom and told her. My mom, in her no-nonsense way, then called me and demanded that I do what I could do at a school with three interdenominational fellowships--find another lifegroup.
My brother's good friend had actually met some of the Revelation people and he contacted a couple of people and gave my brother their numbers in order to help me. I hadn't planned to do anything with the contacts, but my mom now implored me to contact these people and see if I could find a small group that would fit my schedule there. I found Revelation's Facebook group and asked for some small groups and as it turned out, they had two of them at times that I could make.
I went there expecting challenge and that was precisely what I got. I could really sense the powerful presence of God emanating through some of these people in the group--and it scared me, but it also attracted me. I started to think of Proverbs 27:17: "as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend". I started to think that maybe what I needed was some sharpening, some inspiration from the people around me.
I asked around and learned more about Revelation, and today I went to dinner with a couple people from there, and from what I've learned, this fellowship is COOL. It has over 100 people who regularly attend meetings. As a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship I was able to understand how meaningful that is! It has so many chances to get involved and, more importantly, do outreach. One of the people I met told me that many of the people in Revelation have a mindset where they want to bless Revelation and other people, along with growing in Christ themselves. That was the selling point for me. These people were truly out to fulfill the Great Commission! I remember standing in the hall just taking that in as part of the Overture of 1812 played in my head (yes, I am that nerd who likes to make a soundtrack to my life and play it in my head. Please tell me I'm not the only one!).
I was a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship, which was pretty small. I came into college feeling that God was going to stretch me by putting me in a small fellowship, since that was what happened to me my senior year of high school and because my church at home is also very big and COOL. When I was told about Revelation and how many people attended it per week, I was enthralled but I was also a bit afraid. I was afraid that I would be spoiled by the absolute awesomeness of this fellowship, that I wouldn't be able to appreciate the little things if I was to join this fellowship and stay in it for four years. I was afraid that maybe I wouldn't be able to find the close relationships that I desire in a fellowship that's so big. I was afraid of being dwarfed by so many smart, talented people who are on fire for God. But I'm starting to realize that maybe what I need is a chance to be a student, or a non-leader, more like. To be in this community full of people that will enrich me and help me try harder, go deeper, and go farther out into the world.
God is weird, isn't he? Just when you think he's going to do one thing with you he brings in something entirely different. He really does go beyond anything we can ask or think, and honestly, I don't think it's that hard for him.
I'm not done yet (I know this post is ridiculously long). I haven't yet given Gateway a serious chance, so I am going with a retreat with them tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday. I might take a serious turn toward them. For now though, I'm still reeling from how God snuck around me and kicked me in the back (in a good way).
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