Self evaluation? Fellowship evaluation? Whatever this ends up being.

I have a fabulous problem.

One of my biggest (if not my biggest) priorities for college was to find a Christian fellowship where I could have some close relationships with Christians on campus. Well, God has blessed my campus, and it turns out there are THREE interdenominational fellowships on campus. Yes, three. And this is a secular college I'm talking about!

This of course gives me the glorious First World problem of trying to choose a main fellowship. The fellowships interact with each other and there are people in multiple fellowships, it's not like they're AT WAR or something stupid of that sort, but my mission here was to find a fellowship that I would spend most of my Christian fellowshipping time at.

When I first came to my campus as a wide-eyed young high schooler on the admitted students' weekend, only two fellowships had meetings for prefreshmen like myself. I will call the two of them Refresh and Revelation here. Revelation sort of scared me off--it seemed like they were involved with theology and lots of discussion, which led me to shy away. Refresh seemed more simple--just a group of normal kids coming to worship God and be with each other--and that's exactly what it was. It reminded me of a youth group I would have gone to at home.

When I came to campus as a student, I pretty much went for Refresh, while also dabbling in another fellowship which I will call Gateway, but I still didn't consider Revelation very much. What really attracted me to Refresh was that, as one of the members told me, "you get really close with the people there". I was really searching for those close relationships with Christians, and I figured I would find them there or maybe in Gateway, but I was much more attracted to Refresh. I found out the time of their freshmen girls' lifegroup, I went there once and I liked it.

But then a conflict arose. One of my classes likes to hold movie screenings (it's a popular culture/art/media class) and as it turned out, they had six mandatory movie screenings all at the very same time as Refresh's freshman girls' lifegroup. This upset me as it sort of cut off my connection with what would be my best time to get really close to other Christians...in Refresh. Insecure about whether I would ever find some close friends in college, I ended up pouring out my problems to my brother, who then called my mom and told her. My mom, in her no-nonsense way, then called me and demanded that I do what I could do at a school with three interdenominational fellowships--find another lifegroup.

My brother's good friend had actually met some of the Revelation people and he contacted a couple of people and gave my brother their numbers in order to help me. I hadn't planned to do anything with the contacts, but my mom now implored me to contact these people and see if I could find a small group that would fit my schedule there. I found Revelation's Facebook group and asked for some small groups and as it turned out, they had two of them at times that I could make.

I went there expecting challenge and that was precisely what I got. I could really sense the powerful presence of God emanating through some of these people in the group--and it scared me, but it also attracted me. I started to think of Proverbs 27:17: "as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend". I started to think that maybe what I needed was some sharpening, some inspiration from the people around me.

I asked around and learned more about Revelation, and today I went to dinner with a couple people from there, and from what I've learned, this fellowship is COOL. It has over 100 people who regularly attend meetings. As a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship I was able to understand how meaningful that is! It has so many chances to get involved and, more importantly, do outreach. One of the people I met told me that many of the people in Revelation have a mindset where they want to bless Revelation and other people, along with growing in Christ themselves. That was the selling point for me. These people were truly out to fulfill the Great Commission! I remember standing in the hall just taking that in as part of the Overture of 1812 played in my head (yes, I am that nerd who likes to make a soundtrack to my life and play it in my head. Please tell me I'm not the only one!).

I was a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship, which was pretty small. I came into college feeling that God was going to stretch me by putting me in a small fellowship, since that was what happened to me my senior year of high school and because my church at home is also very big and COOL. When I was told about Revelation and how many people attended it per week, I was enthralled but I was also a bit afraid. I was afraid that I would be spoiled by the absolute awesomeness of this fellowship, that I wouldn't be able to appreciate the little things if I was to join this fellowship and stay in it for four years. I was afraid that maybe I wouldn't be able to find the close relationships that I desire in a fellowship that's so big. I was afraid of being dwarfed by so many smart, talented people who are on fire for God. But I'm starting to realize that maybe what I need is a chance to be a student, or a non-leader, more like. To be in this community full of people that will enrich me and help me try harder, go deeper, and go farther out into the world.

God is weird, isn't he? Just when you think he's going to do one thing with you he brings in something entirely different. He really does go beyond anything we can ask or think, and honestly, I don't think it's that hard for him.

I'm not done yet (I know this post is ridiculously long). I haven't yet given Gateway a serious chance, so I am going with a retreat with them tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday. I might take a serious turn toward them. For now though, I'm still reeling from how God snuck around me and kicked me in the back (in a good way).

We. Are. Runniiiiiiiiiiinnnnnng. (Song of the day.)

Song of the Day: “Running” (Hillsong United, Cornerstone (2012))

Patience is a virtue…a very frustrating virtue. Probably one of my biggest mistakes in life is having expected God to change things in my life IMMEDIATELY instead of taking his time. I ran ahead of God and then ended up in a really bad spiritual slump which I have just emerged from. Through that time the biggest lesson I’ve learned is to be patient and do your job.

If there’s anything I’ve learned about God, it’s that he is very very loving…and very very chill. He tends to take His sweet time on stuff, especially prayer requests. While He takes His sweet time, we end up having to wait and hopefully end up growing during the wait. And then, the answer to prayer will come JUST when you need it, at the PERFECT time—because God is like that. Takes his sweet time but never shows up late. 

Let’s be honest—waiting is not fun to think about, and it’s also not all we do. We are on a journey, a lifelong journey, with the Holy Spirit as our guide. If we think about it, it’s a lot like running a race or being on a sports team. This is how I like to think about the journey—as a sport. In sports (or at least serious sports) you train more or less every day (with a rest day), you get taught and given advice by your coach, and you play games or matches or go to meets to compete. It’s the same with life: God is the coach, your training is the Bible and your competitions are life situations. 

The “race” metaphor appears in 1 Corinthians:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. (1 Corinthians 9:24-25 ESV)

And so, literally, we are running a race. And we have to keep pace so we can get to the goal. 

I wrote this in early July after one of my schoolmates died...

It always takes a little time to process the fact that a young person has died...

…especially to the disgusting disease that is cancer. The person on my mind right now was not my friend, but many of my friends knew him and if I was a year younger I would have certainly known him. I read some of his parents’ blog and to an extent, it was painful. To see cancer leach away someone’s life like that just made me sad and angry.

I wish that he had come out of it, that it didn’t come back to take his young life. I wish he would have been able to live out the rest of his days. And the thing is, I’m not even his friend. I can’t imagine the pain his friends are feeling right now, knowing that next year at school there will be a void the size of their dearly beloved friend in there. I cannot even begin to imagine the overwhelming sense of loss his two sisters are feeling. And don’t even get me started with his parents.

But it was only painful to an extent. I know for a fact that this kid gave his life to Christ beforehand. Knowing that he is chilling with Jesus now—that at the end, cancer and Satan lost—is a very soothing balm to an aching soul. His family is saved too—so at least I know that God will be there, helping them, soothing all of their pain.

The kid’s name was Andrew. His sisters’ names are Emily and Brianna. Would you please pray that God would help them and their parents be able to deal with this loss? Thanks.

Lessons learned from the Champions League final

Note that this and the next couple posts are some things I made a long time ago. 

I got to watch a lot of the Champions League final for soccer live on Saturday, and it was just awesome. The last 50 minutes played out like a movie. If you’re not familiar it was the European club final, and it was between Bayern Munich (Munich’s local club and one of the best in the German business) and Chelsea (North London club and among the top English Premier League clubs). It was played in Munich, and Bayern was obviously the favorite…but Chelsea won—and in dramatic fashion too. Bayern scored once, and within five minutes Chelsea had equalized; the game had 30 minutes of extra time, and then it went to a shootout and Chelsea took the cake. You’ll learn more from my lessons. 

Without further ado:

Lesson 1: It a’int over till it’s over.

I definitely thought it was over at a couple of points. Nothing happened for the first 80 minutes (there are 90 in a normal game), and around the 70th minute I went upstairs because I was a little bored. I ended up missing both the goals, first by Thomas Mueller for Bayern, and then the equalizer shot by Didier Drogba for Chelsea. The two goals were within five minutes of each other and were also in the last 10 minutes of regular time. It may look like the whole situation is going to go one way, but in five minutes or less, everything can change! Literally! Another example; it was penalty shootout time, and the team with the most penalties (goals shot close to the goalkeeper) would win. Each team got five chances. Petr Cech, the Chelsea goalkeeper, had seen three penalties go past him—one from the Bayern goalkeeper. (I’m still shocked that goalkeepers are allowed to shoot!) Chelsea had missed their first penalty. He had been defending from Bayern the entire game, and my mom and I figured, it’s Bayern’s! Cech (pronounced like check) is too tired, and Bayern are ahead! Then, Bayern came up with Bastian Schweinstiger, one of the best midfielders in the world, and I REALLY thought it was over.

Schweinstiger ended up hitting the goalpost.

The rest went in dramatic fashion. Chelsea’s fourth player made his penalty. The last Bayern player got his penalty saved by Petr Cech, the tired goalkeeper. And then, the last Chelsea player, Didier Drogba, fired his penalty past the Bayern goalkeeper into the net. It was 4-3 on penalties. Chelsea had won.

Don’t brashly announce what you’re going to do tomorrow; you don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. Proverbs 27:1 MSG

(In my case, change tomorrow to the next five minutes…)

2. People can have multiple talents…

Granted, this sounds like an awfully stupid lesson. But I was genuinely shocked when Bayern sent their goalkeeper up to shoot a penalty. Bayern have three of the best forwards (people who WOULD shoot goals normally) in the world—Mario Gomez, Thomas Mueller and Arjen Robben—but guess who was put up third for the penalty shootout? Manuel Neuer, the goalkeeper. I wanted to laugh. I honestly thought it was illegal to send goalkeepers up to shoot in penalty shootouts.

But, you know what? Neuer did great! He fired that ball straight past Petr Cech like one of the pro forwards would have—or honestly, wouldn’t have (what with Schweinstiger hitting the goalpost, Robben missing a penalty during normal time and Gomez not scoring a single goal? seriously!).

Lesson learned: it’s better to not be a one-trick pony. Of course, you have to find your greatest talent and then spend your time honing that. But it’s also nice to be able to back up the team when the team’s first choice is out. It was great that the Bayern manager could trust Neuer to go up there and score a goal if he was needed. It’s good to have enough skill in something that’s not your major talent that you can go out there if you’re needed.

3. People may be talented, but it is God who will put them over.

Chelsea won their first Champions League title ever yesterday. They’ve been to the final before—in fact, they’ve been to penalty shootouts before. It was only four years ago when they played Manchester United in the Champions League final in Moscow, and their captain, John Terry, missed a penalty as well as the Champions League title. Fast forward—four years have passed. Chelsea are back again, against one of the best teams in the world. Bayern pressure them for the entire game, but five minutes after they score, Chelsea scores. They go to penalty shootouts again. Schweinstiger hits the goalpost. Drogba scores the winner.

Chelsea have been a great club for several years. They’ve rarely been out of the top 6 in the Premier League. Didier Drogba has been their talisman for nearly a decade, and he’s shown no sign of stopping; he scored nine goals in nine games leading up to this final. But truth is, the only thing that mattered was the last four penalties. Had Schweinstiger and Ivica Olic made their penalties, Chelsea would have lost the Champions League final again. 

Drogba knew who to look to at this moment. He told the BBC: “I believe a lot in destiny. I pray a lot. It was written a long time ago. God is wonderful. This team is amazing.” 

Chelsea certainly put in the work, but it was God who turned that work into a Champions league trophy.

Moral of the story: Do work, son! Do your homework! But don’t just think your effort is going to put you over. God is the one who will do that.

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. Psalm 18:32 NKJV