I have a fabulous problem.
One of my biggest (if not my biggest) priorities for college was to find a Christian fellowship where I could have some close relationships with Christians on campus. Well, God has blessed my campus, and it turns out there are THREE interdenominational fellowships on campus. Yes, three. And this is a secular college I'm talking about!
This of course gives me the glorious First World problem of trying to choose a main fellowship. The fellowships interact with each other and there are people in multiple fellowships, it's not like they're AT WAR or something stupid of that sort, but my mission here was to find a fellowship that I would spend most of my Christian fellowshipping time at.
When I first came to my campus as a wide-eyed young high schooler on the admitted students' weekend, only two fellowships had meetings for prefreshmen like myself. I will call the two of them Refresh and Revelation here. Revelation sort of scared me off--it seemed like they were involved with theology and lots of discussion, which led me to shy away. Refresh seemed more simple--just a group of normal kids coming to worship God and be with each other--and that's exactly what it was. It reminded me of a youth group I would have gone to at home.
When I came to campus as a student, I pretty much went for Refresh, while also dabbling in another fellowship which I will call Gateway, but I still didn't consider Revelation very much. What really attracted me to Refresh was that, as one of the members told me, "you get really close with the people there". I was really searching for those close relationships with Christians, and I figured I would find them there or maybe in Gateway, but I was much more attracted to Refresh. I found out the time of their freshmen girls' lifegroup, I went there once and I liked it.
But then a conflict arose. One of my classes likes to hold movie screenings (it's a popular culture/art/media class) and as it turned out, they had six mandatory movie screenings all at the very same time as Refresh's freshman girls' lifegroup. This upset me as it sort of cut off my connection with what would be my best time to get really close to other Christians...in Refresh. Insecure about whether I would ever find some close friends in college, I ended up pouring out my problems to my brother, who then called my mom and told her. My mom, in her no-nonsense way, then called me and demanded that I do what I could do at a school with three interdenominational fellowships--find another lifegroup.
My brother's good friend had actually met some of the Revelation people and he contacted a couple of people and gave my brother their numbers in order to help me. I hadn't planned to do anything with the contacts, but my mom now implored me to contact these people and see if I could find a small group that would fit my schedule there. I found Revelation's Facebook group and asked for some small groups and as it turned out, they had two of them at times that I could make.
I went there expecting challenge and that was precisely what I got. I could really sense the powerful presence of God emanating through some of these people in the group--and it scared me, but it also attracted me. I started to think of Proverbs 27:17: "as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend". I started to think that maybe what I needed was some sharpening, some inspiration from the people around me.
I asked around and learned more about Revelation, and today I went to dinner with a couple people from there, and from what I've learned, this fellowship is COOL. It has over 100 people who regularly attend meetings. As a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship I was able to understand how meaningful that is! It has so many chances to get involved and, more importantly, do outreach. One of the people I met told me that many of the people in Revelation have a mindset where they want to bless Revelation and other people, along with growing in Christ themselves. That was the selling point for me. These people were truly out to fulfill the Great Commission! I remember standing in the hall just taking that in as part of the Overture of 1812 played in my head (yes, I am that nerd who likes to make a soundtrack to my life and play it in my head. Please tell me I'm not the only one!).
I was a leader in my high school's Christian fellowship, which was pretty small. I came into college feeling that God was going to stretch me by putting me in a small fellowship, since that was what happened to me my senior year of high school and because my church at home is also very big and COOL. When I was told about Revelation and how many people attended it per week, I was enthralled but I was also a bit afraid. I was afraid that I would be spoiled by the absolute awesomeness of this fellowship, that I wouldn't be able to appreciate the little things if I was to join this fellowship and stay in it for four years. I was afraid that maybe I wouldn't be able to find the close relationships that I desire in a fellowship that's so big. I was afraid of being dwarfed by so many smart, talented people who are on fire for God. But I'm starting to realize that maybe what I need is a chance to be a student, or a non-leader, more like. To be in this community full of people that will enrich me and help me try harder, go deeper, and go farther out into the world.
God is weird, isn't he? Just when you think he's going to do one thing with you he brings in something entirely different. He really does go beyond anything we can ask or think, and honestly, I don't think it's that hard for him.
I'm not done yet (I know this post is ridiculously long). I haven't yet given Gateway a serious chance, so I am going with a retreat with them tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday. I might take a serious turn toward them. For now though, I'm still reeling from how God snuck around me and kicked me in the back (in a good way).